Things I know: Ride it Out

Things I know: Ride it Out: Some years ago, during a very difficult time, I stumbled upon a way to get through my day. My husband was in the hospital having heart surg...

Things I know: The Choice is Yours...

Things I know: The Choice is Yours...: Yesterday I was feeling some unexplained anxiety. Just an uncomfortable feeling kind of nagging at me. The problem was, the more I tried t...

The Choice is Yours...

Yesterday I was feeling some unexplained anxiety. Just an uncomfortable feeling kind of nagging at me. The problem was, the more I tried to explore the source of this feeling, the more anxious I became. As I was scrolling through my mental list of things that might be causing me anxiety, I realized that I was in the process of creating a problem that wasn't even there to begin with! We tend to do that, don't we? Why do we feel compelled to explore every negative feeling to get at the source? Some of us think we might be having a premonition of something bad that's about to happen, and start to think about what might happen...again, expanding the negative feelings we started out with. So yesterday, as I realized what I was doing, with the help of some of my tools, I stopped my thought process. I put on my headphones and listened to some upbeat music (I like using headphones because I feel like the music surrounds me) and before too long, I was feeling much better.

Well, this got me thinking. I don't ever recall searching for the source when I was feeling unexplained joy. When I feel joyous and happy, I just let it be! But what if I did explore my mental list of blessings? Would I be strengthening the positive feelings? Of course, the answer is yes. The best part about it is, you don't really need to have unexplained joy to scroll through your mental list of positive thoughts. You can do that right now! Joy is a decision! You can make the decision to be happy today, or even just for right now. You have the power to choose, every moment of every day, how you are going to feel. You don't have to allow a grumpy spouse or angry boss affect your mood...you can choose to let the moods of others float right by. So empowering! So the choice is yours...how will you feel today?

Ride it Out

Some years ago, during a very difficult time, I stumbled upon a way to get through my day. My husband was in the hospital having heart surgery, I was running my own business, daughter at home and I was feeling overwhelmed. So at a moment when I thought I was about to break down I thought to myself "if I can just get through the next hour, then I can break down". What I found was that I no longer felt like I needed to break down, after only fifteen or twenty minutes. Sometime later, maybe a couple of days, when I was feeling scared, I did the same thing. Again, it worked like a charm.

It's almost like the ocean. Our emotions go through waves of intensity. If you can just hold on and ride out the wave, you'll be okay. Now, I know that's a lot easier to say than to do, but if you hold in your mind the knowledge that this moment will pass, you can do it. The truth is, everything always works out. Some things take longer, but eventually, everything always works out. Even the big stuff... My Mom passed away some years ago and I was filled with sadness that seemed like it wouldn't go away. I worried about my father and what would become of him without my mother around. Of course, everything is great. My father has thrived, I'm fine, my brother and sister are fine...everything worked out. It always does, so next time you are feeling overwhelmed...thinking you won't make it...hold on. Ride it out...it will pass.

Things I know: Rule #24

Things I know: Rule #24: This is a tricky rule to talk about. I've had a lot of trouble putting this into words. Rule #24 is ALWAYS BE IMPROVING. I know that...

Things I know: Rule #23

Things I know: Rule #23: Remember your first day of high school? Walking into that big building, so many strange kids, most of whom you didn't know. Your middl...

Things I know: Take a Moment

Things I know: Take a Moment: Have you ever done something or said something and wished immediately that you could take it back? Of course you have, we all have. Sometim...

Take a Moment

Have you ever done something or said something and wished immediately that you could take it back? Of course you have, we all have. Sometimes we hurt others and don't even realize it...we get caught up in our own reality and don't think about who we may be affecting, or how our words or actions may be received. Even when we intentionally say something unkind, do we take a moment to think about how the other person will feel? When you do hurt someone else, how does that make YOU feel? Even when you feel justified in your words and actions, do you ever feel good after hurting someone?

I propose we take a moment, just a deep breath, before we say or do something, and put ourselves in the shoes of the other person. If we all could master the art of pausing before acting, we might just change the world! Think back on the times you have been the cause of someone else's pain...imagine if you took a moment before acting...perhaps you would have acted differently. If you took a deep breath before saying something mean, hurtful or even just thoughtless, imagine how much less hurt you will cause. Imagine if everyone practiced the art of taking a moment! At the very least, if you practice the art of taking a moment, your world would be a better place...and isn't that all we really have control over anyway?

Things I know: Rule #22

Things I know: Rule #22: The week or two before I go away on vacation I start to get excited. I start putting things I need to pack on the side, start picking up th...

Things I know: Rule #21

Things I know: Rule #21: How would you like to have more satisfying work and personal relationships? More peaceful environments? Well there is a small act, that wh...

Things I know: Rule #20

Things I know: Rule #20: Throughout this blog I have talked about controlling your thoughts, but this is so important, it has its own rule. Rule #20 is CONTROL YOU...

Things I know: Rule #19

Things I know: Rule #19: Have you ever had an unexplained bad feeling about something you were about to do and when you did it anyway it turned out to be a mistake? ...

Things I know: Feel Better

Things I know: Feel Better: What is it that you want in life? A new car? A new house? Luxurious vacations? A relationship? A better figure? Whatever it is, I believe...

Feel Better

What is it that you want in life? A new car? A new house? Luxurious vacations? A relationship? A better figure? Whatever it is, I believe there's only one reason you want something more and that's because you believe you will feel better in the having of it. Think about it...the truth is, at the root of every want is the desire to feel better. So what if we worked towards that "feel better" feeling, even before we got the "want"? What if our goal each morning was to "feel good today"? Imagine how productive your day would be if you set out each morning to feel good. Now, I know, you're thinking that you would rather wait until you have the new car to feel better...and I get that, but would it hurt to strive for that feel better feeling, even before actually having it? Of course not! And yet, it might just help...how much more satisfying would your days be? How much more satisfying would your interactions with people be? How much happier would your life be?

So here's what I propose...instead of noticing the things you want and don't have...how about focusing on the expectation of the things you want. It's a subtle change in the way you look at things, but it is the difference that will change your life. This will take some practice...when you sit behind the wheel of your old clunker and the car has a hard time starting, right now you probably curse the car and the circumstances that prevent you from getting a new one. Instead, try looking forward to how great it will be when you get a new car. It will start up every morning without a problem, it will be shiny and new looking, comfortable interior with no holes in the seats... The truth is, whether you curse your circumstances or anticipate new ones, you are where you are. Why not feel better right here, right now? It certainly couldn't hurt, and it might just make your life a little easier.

Things I know: Rule #18

Things I know: Rule #18: I sometimes get distracted. I get busy and try to do too many things at once. Sometimes I allow my mind to wander. Rule #18 is PAY ATTENT...