Rule #20

Throughout this blog I have talked about controlling your thoughts, but this is so important, it has its own rule. Rule #20 is CONTROL YOUR THOUGHTS. Every day you make little decisions, sometimes without even realizing it. You choose how you are going to react to the events of your day. Your reaction is a direct result of your thoughts. Your feelings are a direct result of your thoughts. Your mood is a direct result of your thoughts. The level of your stress is a direct result of your thoughts. With so much riding on your thoughts, why would you let them run wild? I'm quite sure you've had the experience of getting mad about something and the more you thought about it the angrier you got. Your thoughts "snowballed" and what started out being something that angered you became something much more. Our thoughts help us justify why we have every right to be angry, don't they? But the truth is, we are only hurting ourselves. Our stress level goes up, our mood darkens, we feel bad...and sometimes the subject of our anger doesn't even know!

Try this: Remember a time, recently, that made you feel good. Close your eyes if you need to and focus on the memory. What was happening around you, what were you seeing, hearing, what smells were in the air? What were you wearing? Focus as best you can on the way you were feeling. If you truly focus, you will notice that you start to feel good, even though you are not actually living that moment, it is a memory, but you can recreate the feelings by thinking about it. I know this is hard at first...for some reason, we find it easier to reach for the negative feelings than the positive ones. I believe this is a habit. Habits can be changed. If we can get into the habit of allowing the happy, positive thoughts to "snowball", we can live a happier, positive life. It is near impossible, however, to jump from a negative spiral to a positive one. I find that if I can stop the negative spiral, I can start to feel better. It's almost like a ladder. If I can go from furious to angry, then I can go from angry to frustrated. From frustrated I can go to annoyed, and so on until I am not feeling so bad. If you do nothing else, stop the negative spiral.

I have found some tricks that help me to stop the negative snowballing of thoughts. Maybe you will find something else that works for you. I know that reading a good book works for many people, fiction works best. Watching a movie, preferably a comedy or at least something lighthearted. Listening to upbeat music that you really like. I often make lists of things I am grateful for. I listen to stand up routines by my favorite comedians. When I am really snowballing, and having a hard time controlling my thoughts I put my earphones on and listen to music, but in order to focus my mind and stop thinking, I listen to every word being sung. Your mind cannot focus on more than one thing at a time, so find something that you can focus on.

This will get easier with practice. It is very empowering once you learn to control your thoughts. Think about how much better your life will be! You can control your mood, your stress, your life! Imagine how much happier you will be!

Rule #1 - I AM RESPONSIBLE
Rule #2 - ALWAYS BE KIND
Rule #3 - DON'T HOLD A GRUDGE
Rule #4 - DO THE RIGHT THING
Rule #5 - SMILE
Rule #6 - BE GOOD TO YOURSELF
Rule #7 - SAY I LOVE YOU
Rule #8 - BE POSITIVE
Rule #9 - LAUGH
Rule #10 - DON'T JUDGE
Rule #11 - SET GOALS
Rule #12 - SING AND DANCE
Rule #13 - MEDITATE
Rule #14 - BELIEVE IN YOURSELF
Rule #15 - BE HONEST
Rule #16 - SAY I'M SORRY
Rule #17 - BE GENUINE
Rule #18 - PAY ATTENTION
Rule #19 - TRUST YOUR GUT
Rule #20 - CONTROL YOUR THOUGHTS