Things I know: Confidence!

Things I know: Confidence!: I talk a lot about happiness and controlling your thoughts.  It occurs to me that I've never really touched on the subject of self confi...

Confidence!

I talk a lot about happiness and controlling your thoughts.  It occurs to me that I've never really touched on the subject of self confidence...but the truth is, without self confidence we are lost.  We have , within us, the power to do anything, accomplish our dreams, realize our desires...our only limitation is our own belief in ourselves. Confidence is tricky.  Too often we allow our self confidence to be determined by those around us...and those around us are all too often willing to comply.  Many people try to raise their own self confidence by lowering the confidence of those around them.  We've all experienced the person who puts us down, criticizes us, mocks us...but it's our reaction to this behavior that determines our destiny.  I've found that the key to maintaining my own confidence in the throughs of criticism is to recognize the root of this type of behavior.  Understand, you will never see a truly confident person trying to lower the self esteem of someone else!  Period.  It is unnecessary. 

Think about a teenager who is mad at their parent.  They may say some hurtful things..."I hate you", "you've ruined my life"...and yet, most of the time, the parent takes these words with a grain of salt, going on about their business unfazed.  Why?  Because the parent knows the words are just that, words, and come from a place of anger, not truth.  Now think about those people who criticize you, belittle you...once you realize their behavior comes from a place of insecurity and not truth, you can go about your business unfazed.  

So enough about those around you...what is your inner voice saying?  Your inner voice may need an adjustment as well.  When that inner voice starts to criticize, you need to be ready.  Start recognizing the positive aspects of you.  Write them down, record them, keep a mental list.  It will be hard at first, but keep at it.  What are you good at?  What are you proud of? What are your best traits?  The next time those inner criticisms start to rear their ugly heads, find something from your "confidence" bag of tricks to counteract the self criticism. Depending on how long you've been listening to your inner criticizer, and how strong it has become, it may take a while to get under control...but I have confidence in you...you can do it, and once you do, the world will open up to you!

Things I know: There's Magic in Believing

Things I know: There's Magic in Believing: I manage a real estate office and coach my agents on a variety of activities to make them successful.  I give them tools, training, informat...

There's Magic in Believing

I manage a real estate office and coach my agents on a variety of activities to make them successful.  I give them tools, training, information.  I give them daily, weekly, monthly goals...I give them support, motivation, skills and knowledge, but the truth is, none of that matters.  I've found that it all starts in their head...the most important component in their success is what they think about themselves and their business.  

It has often amazed me that when there is a prize at stake, no matter how small, people will rise to the competition.  As a matter of fact, more so with a smaller prize.  In the case of my agents (and this has been true with every group I've managed) the lure of the prize is more motivating than the promise of a commission check.  Perhaps because the prize fuels the competitive spirit, represents immediate gratification...but I also think it is because it is a believable achievement.  How many times have you heard people say "I knew that would happen!"?  So what is happening in your head?

 As a young girl I had a picture of a unicorn hanging in my room with the words "There's Magic in believing".  I would read those words every time I felt frustrated or overwhelmed, sad or alone.  I learned to use those words to short circuit the chatter in my mind that was fueling the negative emotions.  There's magic in believing...think about that.  Do you achieve anything you don't believe you can achieve?  Of course not!  

So practice believing...start small.  Believing in yourself is the greatest achievement of your life, from which all other achievements are born.  Skills, training, tools, motivation are all of vital importance...but only if you believe.