Things I know: Take It the RIGHT Way!

Things I know: Take It the RIGHT Way!: Have you ever taken something someone said to you the wrong way?  Maybe it was a text or email...maybe you misinterpretated an expression or...

Take It the RIGHT Way!

Have you ever taken something someone said to you the wrong way?  Maybe it was a text or email...maybe you misinterpretated an expression or a look someone gave you. No matter what it was...what was your reaction?  Chances are, it had a negative impact on your mood. I was thinking about this the other day because a friend of mine was talking to me about a conversation we both participated in with a third person and my friend's interpretation of that conversation was completely different than mine. I think back to times when I was hurt or upset by something someone said to me only to find out later that I was totally wrong about what that person was saying...I took what was said the wrong way.  The truth is, it doesn't really matter what the person's intent is...if we take it the wrong way, or even the right way...if we perceive that what is being said is negative, our mood will be impacted in a negative way. Simple as that. 

So, what is the impact?  Well, for me, it can ruin my day...not only that, it often affects the way I feel about that person!  Have you ever spent the day being angry over something your partner said to you in the morning only to find out at the end of the day that you were completely wrong about what was said in the first place?  How easy is it to let that anger go even after finding out the anger was unwarranted?  I bet not very easy...our anger has built momentum and we find ourselves angry (or sad, hurt, or whatever the feeling is) even after the cause of that feeling is removed from the equation. 

So, what if we turned that around?  What if we chose to take it the RIGHT way?  As we know, the impact on our mood and our feelings is based on our interpretation and has nothing to do with the other person's intent...so why not assume the meaning was a positive one?  Now, I know that is not always easy to control at the moment...but you know as well as I do that the real damage is done by our thoughts following the initial interpretation. So before your thoughts snowball, decide that the meaning was positive, complementary or said in jest. At the very least, you will have a much more pleasant day!  Choose to keep your mood and feelings out of that dark place...no harm can come of it!  Practice taking things the RIGHT way...you'll live a happier life for it. 

Things I know: Decisions

Things I know: Decisions: A couple of weeks ago, my husband and I celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary and inevitably, we got the

Decisions

A couple of weeks ago, my husband and I celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary and inevitably, we got the "what's the secret?" question. After some thought, I came up with an answer that felt right to me. The secret is millions of small decisions...you know, decisions to overlook the unwanted and decisions to notice the wanted. When I look back at the times that were hard, I can pinpoint the decisions I was making. It's really quite simple, not necessarily easy...but simple. So, I've come to realize, making decisions is not only the secret to a happy marriage...it's the secret to a happy life!

Think back to problems you've had with other people. In every case, you could have made the decision to focus on the behavior, the words, the actions of someone else...or ignore. Now, I'm not saying you weren't justified, or the slight wasn't so great it would be impossible to ignore...sometimes that's the case...but every time, you had a choice. This realization is exciting to me!  Not only am I empowered to decide what will effect me....but I can make the decision to ignore the things that don't serve me!  Not only that, but think about all the things that do serve me...I can choose to focus on the positive influences in my life. Choose to notice the driver letting me merge rather than the driver who sped up to prevent me from merging...choose to notice the coworker who's always smiling rather than the one who's always complaining. Every day, you are making decisions...these millions of little decisions...that are molding your life...creating who you are. As the old TV show used to say...."choose wisely, grasshopper".