Things I know: Rule #17

Things I know: Rule #17: Have you ever met someone and knew instantly that they were being phony? Or on the flip side, have you ever met someone and knew right away...

Things I know: Rule #16

Things I know: Rule #16: I have seen families torn apart, friendships end, marriages fail...all because no one would say they were sorry. Rule #16 is SAY I'M S...

Things I know: Satisfied?

Things I know: Satisfied?: Are we ever fully satisfied? Oh, of course, we can be satisfied for the moment, but eventually we yearn for more. When you eat a big meal,...

Satisfied?

Are we ever fully satisfied? Oh, of course, we can be satisfied for the moment, but eventually we yearn for more. When you eat a big meal, you may satisfy your hunger, but in time, you will be hungry again. When you earn a good salary, you will be happy for a while, but eventually, you will want more. We want our relationships to grow stronger, we want new things, we get haircuts to look different...better. If we had perfect weather every day of the year, we would get bored and never really appreciate a beautiful day. In everything we do and have, we eventually want more. I think dissatisfaction is the key to success.

I believe it's the yearning for more that drives us. If we were to become completely satisfied, there would be no motivation. Without motivation, we would never improve. Without improvement, we would shrivel up and die. Now, I'm not talking about greed. I'm not talking about hoarding. These are traits that hurt you and those around you. No, I'm talking about never being satisfied with the status quo. Always looking to improve ourselves and our surroundings.

So what motivates us to improve? It's in the knowing what we DON'T want that clarifies the knowing what we DO want. We can never see something better through the eyes of satisfaction. Our growth is in the contrast...without the dissatisfaction, there would be no movement...no improvement. So I welcome that feeling of dissatisfaction...of yearning, of wanting more. It means I'm growing. It means I'm improving. It means I'm alive!

Things I know: Rule #15

Things I know: Rule #15: Imagine how much less stress you would have in your life if you were always honest. Rule #15 is BE HONEST. Now I believe most people are h...

Things I know: This is Life!

Things I know: This is Life!: A few days ago, I became a grandmother. I can't describe to you how wonderful that feels...joy, wonder, love. The day before, my fath...

Things I know: I interrupt this blog to bring you an important me...

Things I know: I interrupt this blog to bring you an important me...: I interrupt this blog to bring you an important message. These rules that I have been blogging are the rules I STRIVE to live by. It is im...

This is Life!

A few days ago, I became a grandmother. I can't describe to you how wonderful that feels...joy, wonder, love. The day before, my father was admitted to the hospital...fear, worry. The fact is...this is life. There are positive and negative events, both big and small, every moment of every day. The question is, where do I direct my focus? My focus is my compass...I have the choice every day to focus on those things in my life that make me feel happy, positive, joyous. It doesn't mean the negative events are any less important or meaningful to me, it simply means that I choose to dwell on those things that make me feel good. This is a choice we are faced with every day...where is your focus?

It's kind of empowering, isn't it? To know you have a choice in how you feel? Most people seem to focus on whatever is in front of them at the moment...traffic, cranky people, a long line, a fight with a loved one...but the truth is, you can choose to direct your focus on something else...last night's conversation with a friend, a good laugh at work, a special moment with your spouse. There is always something better to focus on...you just have to get into the habit of looking for it. I promise you, its always there...a better thought to focus on. Make it a game, find the better thought...

You can change the course of your life...by changing your focus. How cool is that!?

Things I know: Rule #14

Things I know: Rule #14: Teddy Roosevelt said "Believe in yourself and you're half way there". Rule #14 is BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. I've heard athle...

Things I know: Rule #13

Things I know: Rule #13: There is a lot to be said for quieting your mind. Quieting that constant inner voice that sometimes berates you, or maybe criticizes you. ...

Things I know: Rule #12

Things I know: Rule #12: I've been to many sales rally's, conventions and trade shows over the years and I've noticed one constant among the most success...

Things I know: Rule #11

Things I know: Rule #11: I have a GPS I use to find my way. Before that I used mapquest and before that I had maps. All these tools have one thing in common...I ha...

Things I know: Rule #10

Things I know: Rule #10: Oh, this is one of the hardest rules to follow! Rule #10 is DON'T JUDGE. It must be human nature to judge each other because most peo...

Things I know: Rule #9

Things I know: Rule #9: I want you to think about a time when you had a really fun time. If you were describing it to me, most of you would accompany your story wi...

Things I know: Rule #8

Things I know: Rule #8: Did you ever meet someone who was always positive? It's nice to be around them, isn't it? Even when most people would be down, som...

Things I know: Break the Routine

Things I know: Break the Routine: Most days I wake up around the same time, go through the same morning routine, drive the same route to work. I like to go to the same resta...

Break the Routine

Most days I wake up around the same time, go through the same morning routine, drive the same route to work. I like to go to the same restaurants, order my favorite meals...basically, like most people, I get comfort from following the same routine. In fact, on the days I don't follow my routine, I feel a little off. We are creatures of habit, us humans. There's never any growth in comfort, though. Time travels fast in comfort...the same routine every day leads to months, then years. Today is a good day to shake things up a little!

Now I'm not saying to do something crazy...I'm just saying that a break in the routine is good for the soul. I think when we get into a routine and do the same things the same way, everything falls into a routine...our thoughts, how we see things, how we hear things. Start out small...drive a different way to work, change the order of your morning activities, go somewhere new for lunch... You'll never find a better way of doing something if you don't try something new. For many years, I have driven to my sister-in-law's house the same way. I always thought there should be a better way to get there, but for years I didn't try. Then one day I decided to get off a few exits early and make my way through the back roads...what's the worst that could happen? Well, of course, I found a better, faster, more direct route. Even if I didn't, I would have had something different to look at...maybe found a new store to go to...anything new. My point is, if you stay in the same routine, day in and day out, your life will be the same, day in and day out. Growth, new discoveries, new ideas and new ways of doing things happen outside the routine.

Life happens outside the routine!

Things I know: Rule #7

Things I know: Rule #7: There's not much to say about Rule #7, but its one of my rules, so here we go...Rule #7 is SAY I LOVE YOU. This rule is a simple one, ...

Things I know: Rule #6

Things I know: Rule #6: So, remember Rule #2? Always be kind? Well rule #6 is similar......BE GOOD TO YOURSELF. Now this rule has many aspects to it. For me, bein...

Things I know: Rule #5

Things I know: Rule #5: If I told you I could give you the power to make your day brighter, improve your looks, stop arguments, get people to listen to you, feel go...

Things I know: Rule #4

Things I know: Rule #4: I call Rule #4 DO THE RIGHT THING, but I guess it's really about integrity. Being true to who I am. Now, I think there's a huge di...

Things I know: Rule #3

Things I know: Rule #3: Some years ago, I came to a realization while driving. Anyone who has driven in the NY metropolitan area knows that driving around here can...

Things I know: Rule #2

Things I know: Rule #2: So rule number two in my life rules is ...ALWAYS BE KIND. There is nothing in life, no situation, that can't be made at least a little ...

Things I know: Rule #2

Things I know: Rule #2: So rule number two in my life rules is ...ALWAYS BE KIND. There is nothing in life, no situation, that can't be made at least a little ...

Things I know: My first blog

Things I know: My first blog: So this is my first blog, but in some ways, I've been blogging all my life. My name is Terri and I want to tell you about the things I k...

Things I know: Risk

Things I know: Risk: Something I discovered about myself is that I'm a risk taker. I didn't really realize it because I'm not a dare devil and I alw...

Risk

Something I discovered about myself is that I'm a risk taker. I didn't really realize it because I'm not a dare devil and I always associated risk with physical extremes....but I am, indeed, a risk taker. I've changed jobs and careers many times, traveled alone and in unconventional ways, speak to everyone I meet, from the homeless to the famous...I'm not a saver, bought my current car without so much as a test drive. Risk is where I feel alive...at all levels.

Now, I know that most of my postings on this blog have been advisory in nature, but today I can only share. I don't know if risk taking is for everyone...I only know that to me, taking risks is like the air I breathe...necessary. Don't get me wrong, I am not talking about life threatening, or even thrill seeking...remember, I'm not a dare devil... I'm talking about stretching myself further than I think I can go. I'm talking about walking into the unknown, even if its scary or makes me nervous. I'm talking about trying something new...without doing research.

Taking risks does not always work out...guess it wouldn't be a risk if it did...but my greatest growth as a human being has been from taking risks. I would not be the person I am without the life lessons I've learned from taking risks. Maybe today you'll think about this posting and take a small risk...see if you like it. Caution is safe, that's for sure, but maybe an occasional risk will spice up your life. It certainly has made my life interesting!

Things I know: Get in the Zone

Things I know: Get in the Zone: It seems to me that we humans have a problem with shortage...shortage of time, shortage of money, shortage of ideas, shortage of help, short...

Get in the Zone

It seems to me that we humans have a problem with shortage...shortage of time, shortage of money, shortage of ideas, shortage of help, shortage of talent, shortage of love...the list goes on and on. But have you ever had things go just right? Have you ever been working on something and you had just the right amount of time? The perfect idea? Enough money? Think back to those times...how were you feeling? I can tell you, for me, when I am stressed or harried, it feels like there are not enough hours in the day...but when I am "in the zone", I feel like I can do anything. When I am in the zone, things just fall into place. I don't feel deprived, rather I feel invigorated. I was at a diner the other day and every table was full. There seemed to be less wait staff than usual and there were a lot of people for the waitress to take care of. I would have thought the waitress would have been stressed, but she seemed to be everywhere she was needed at just the right moment. It was as if she knew what her customers wanted at the moment they wanted it. Looking around, none of the customers seemed agitated or in need. That waitress was in the zone, and everyone around her benefited from it.

Some years ago, I discovered that I could put myself "in the zone" much of the time. Sometimes I meditate, sometimes I listen to music, sometimes a hot shower or exercise will do it. What I noticed is there is almost a snapping into place that I can actually feel when I get to that mental place I call "in the zone". When I am in the zone, I am more productive, more efficient, more effective. I don't feel a shortage of time, energy, talent or anything else. I feel happy, alive, powerful. Athletes, artists, musicians have always instinctively gotten into the zone before a game or performance. It is easy to be your best when you take a few minutes to get into the zone.

I try to start each day in the zone. I find that one day meditation may do it, but the next day only listening to music will. Find what works for you. Take the time each day to "get in the zone"...you can't afford not to.

Things I know: Becoming an Optimist

Things I know: Becoming an Optimist: Imagine it's your birthday and you have a whole day of activities planned. You are having a great day when sometime in the afternoon, s...

Becoming an Optimist

Imagine it's your birthday and you have a whole day of activities planned. You are having a great day when sometime in the afternoon, someone important to you says or does something that is very hurtful to you. No matter what the outcome, here is my question to you...when you look back on that birthday, do you think first of the hurt or the great day? I think it's human nature to dwell on the unwanted, the painful, the hurt, and honestly, I don't know why. Imagine how much happier our memories would be if we just dwelled on the positive. Did you ever have one event ruin your whole day? Now of course, some events warrant the stigma of ruining the whole day, but I think that most do not. In fact, I would venture to guess that most events would hardly scratch the surface if not for our thoughts giving attention to them. Our thoughts on anything are like fuel to a fire. Think about how quickly a minor infraction can turn into a huge argument when you focus your thoughts on the infraction. Quite frankly, I think it's easier to allow negative thoughts to run wild in our minds than positive ones. It's much more of a conscious decision, but a decision you can perfect. In fact, you can make a habit of focusing your thoughts on the positive side of any situation...many people do, we call them optimists. I'm not talking about burying your head in the sand, I'm just saying you have a choice. Your thoughts are going to fuel the fire...it's up to you which fire.

So try this, throughout your day, take a moment here and there to notice how you feel (happy, angry, frustrated). Once you've examined how you feel, pay attention to what you were thinking about. If your mood is a positive one, put those thoughts on a mental shelf to be brought out and thought about when you are feeling down. If your mood is a negative one, examine the thoughts you were thinking and see if you can find a bright side...if not, simply change the subject of your internal self talk. Be easy on yourself. Habits take time to form, but it is worth it. Optimistic people live happier, healthier lives...isn't that worth the effort?

Things I know: Just a Little Extra

Things I know: Just a Little Extra: This past summer, I was watching the Olympics and caught the men's 400 meter freestyle of which Michael Phelps was expected to win the G...

Just a Little Extra

This past summer, I was watching the Olympics and caught the men's 400 meter freestyle of which Michael Phelps was expected to win the Gold. Throughout the entire race, Michael was in the lead until at the very end of the race, when the French swimmer reached ahead and with a final surge, touched the wall before Michael did. Now this was a big upset, but what I saw was the huge difference just a little extra effort can make.

It seems to me that it's the little extra we do that brings the biggest rewards. The tiny finishing touches, the extra few minutes, the polish. The difference between the great masters in history and their contemporaries was their willingness to do just a little bit more. Anthony Robbins says its not the 100th push up, but the 101st that brings the biggest result. Good enough just isn't if you want to soar!

Think about this, when you see a beautifully decorated room, it's the trim, the subtle coordination of colors, the finishing touches that make it exquisite. When I get dressed in the morning, it's the accessories that complete the look I'm going for. The details an author puts into his writing that paint a picture for the reader. The extra!

So try this, every time you think you are finished, ask yourself, "what tiny bit more can I do?" and watch how your life will change! The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra.

Things I know: Fake it Till You Make It

Things I know: Fake it Till You Make It: A few weeks ago, I had a presentation to do and right before I walked out the door I received a disturbing phone call. Now, I have to be up...

Fake it Till You Make It

A few weeks ago, I had a presentation to do and right before I walked out the door I received a disturbing phone call. Now, I have to be upbeat and positive when doing a presentation, so I listened to music on the way to the event but I was still not myself. In cases like this, I "fake it till I make it" And thats exactly what I did. I can't even tell you how far along I was in my presentation, but at some point I realized I WAS actually feeling pumped up and positive.

I have used this technique many times. I have shared with you dozens of tricks and tools I use to lead a happier, more fulfilling life...but sometimes it's just not enough. When all else fails, fake it till you make it. Not feeling confident? Pretend you are. Feeling grouchy? Pretend you're in a good mood. It's not really that hard to do. So lets say you're feeling a bit grouchy. There have been days when you were in a good mood, you just need to remember what that good mood felt like. Pretend you are in a play, pretend its an acting job. Now, it will feel unnatural at first, but trust me, it will get easier and before you know it, you won't even be acting at all.

For years the advice columns and self help gurus have been using this technique, usually on a grander scale...for prosperity, relationships, career success, etc. and for good reason...it works! When you pretend, fake it, you change your focus...your mind set. Your mind can only focus on one thing at a time...you can only be thinking one thought at a time...when you turn your attention to the desired result, your mind switches gears to accommodate you. It's as simple as that. So next time you're in a slump, try pretending you're having a great day...Fake it Till you make it!