Rule #8: Be Positive

This rule can change your life!  Some people tell me it's one of the hardest, but trust me...master this and the rewards are endless.  It's simple enough to say, isn't it?  Be positive...stay positive...look at the bright side...two sides to every coin...I can go on forever about the positive side to every situation, but you already know that...we all do.  The problem is not our awareness that there is a more positive side to the situation...our problem is our lack of ability to focus on the positive side to the situation.  Think about it...we already know there is a bright side...we just can't see it through the dark side.  So, how do we find the bright side...how do we stay positive?

Well, first of all, we have to know what we're looking for. As with everything in my blog, I recommend you start small. Last August my car was hit by another car who pulled out of a driveway right into me.  The entire passenger side of my car was crushed.  I had to drive to Virginia Beach in two days on vacation and, oh, by the way, my car was only a few months old.  Stinks, right?  I probably used different words, but you get the picture.  So where is the bright side?  Let's think about it...  First of all, of course, no one was hurt. Start there... I called my insurance company from the scene and they were pleasant and proficient. So far, that's two things positive.  I won't bore you with all the details, but the end result was my insurance company arranged for a rental car while mine got fixed, so instead of putting all those vacation miles on MY new car, I put them on a rental!  Now I can focus my thoughts on the fact that my new car was crushed on one side, will never be the same, blah, blah, blah...or I can focus my thoughts on how well they fixed it, looks like nothing ever happened, has hundreds of less miles than it would have, everyone is unharmed... 

So how do we change our focus?  Well, as with everything else, our thoughts control our focus.  What we are thinking about the situation will control how we feel about it.  Now we've all heard the usual things to do...take a deep breath, count to ten, close our eyes...and this is good advise because the key is to stop the momentum, stop the snowballing of negative thoughts...but it's been my experience that these actions are often insufficient.   I've found that I can count to ten and still be thinking those negative thoughts. The problem is, we can count to ten without thinking about it, so you need to find something that you have to think about in order to do it.  Try counting backwards from 20.  If that's too easy for you, try saying the alphabet backwards.  Take several deep breaths, counting on the in breath and make the out breath the same count.  The point is, you have to stop the momentum of the negative thoughts before you can even see the positive side to the situation.  Once found, expand your thoughts on the bright side...start the momentum in that direction.  Try this with the small stuff.  Get into the habit of controlling your thoughts on the everyday annoyances and you will be well equipped when the bigger things come along.

Before I close, I want to say something about worry.  Worry is the destroyer of your now.  Worry is like praying for what you don't want to happen.  Worry tends to creep up on us, we find ourselves in the throughs of worry before we even realize we've been thinking negatively...so here's a trick.  Pay close attention to how you feel.  Our mind gives off a warning sign, a silent alarm of sorts...before the worry and negative thinking has a chance to build momentum, we will feel a sense of foreboding, maybe sadness.  When you get into the habit of paying attention to your feelings, you will start to notice them early on and be able to take steps to control your thoughts.  This is simple stuff that can take a lifetime to master, but your existence will be better the very minute you start.  Living positive changes everything!