Embrace the Horror!

I came to a realization recently, and it rocked my world!  I have always understood the value of negative things happening in my life.  Oh you know, you can't see the light without the dark, or the good wouldn't be as sweet without the bad... you get the picture... the contrast.  But what if the bad, negative, unwanted things that happen in our lives are actually the PATH to the best parts of our lives?  What if we NEED these negative happenings in order to move forward?  If that were the case, would we think differently about the bad things that happen?  Would we feel differently?  Hard to say.

When I look back on some of the darkest times of my life, I can see clearly that without those times, some of the brightest days would not have happened.   We've all had these experiences... the lay off that led to the wonderful job... the breakup that led to the magical relationship... the failure that led to the discovery.  These are the stories of our lives... the pieces that come together to form who we are and who we will be.  I have often said "we don't grow from the easy stuff", but what does that actually mean in our everyday lives?  I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately, and I've come to realize that at the heart of every negative event is a positive outcome.  Even in the death of a loved one, which one could argue would be the darkest of events.  My mother passed away some time ago, and although the pain of her loss is still strong, I have since come to know my father as I never did while she was alive.  In fact, my father has become a stronger, more vital inspiration to everyone he meets.  I said to him recently that I feel like I didn't really know him until my mother died and his answer was that he didn't really know himself until after she died.  Imagine that!  In addition, my father took it upon himself to "keep the family together" in my mother's absence.  He has frequent family dinners, hosts holidays (with us doing the cooking) and takes us all on family vacations each year.  This togetherness has lead to a deepening of the relationships between my siblings, the cousins, aunts and uncles.  There is a closeness in our family that I believe would never have happened had my mother lived longer.  When I think about my life, there are countless examples of negative events leading to positive outcomes.

So, what of these negative events?  To be honest, I find it kind of hard to embrace them as good... but I'm trying because when I don't.... when I dwell on it.... when I get stuck in my negative thinking... I delay the positive outcome.  The sooner I can wrap my head around the benefit of these negative events, the sooner I can get on with my life and the sooner I can reap the rewards.  So in the words of Rockhound in Armageddon... Embrace the Horror!