Sunday, December 22, 2013

Rule #1: I Am Responsible

For those of you new to this blog, some 30 years ago, I wrote down 25 rules that I live my life by.  Last year, I started writing down my thoughts and views of these rules which became this Blog.  Today, I return to the rules...

Have you ever had the experience of starting out your day on the wrong foot and before you knew it, nearly everything that happened to you seemed to be conspiring against you?  Maybe you wake up in a bad mood and your family members are more than happy to add fuel to your fire...then the fellow drivers on the road to work contribute by cutting you off and driving recklessly...your co-workers are thoughtless, your boss is unreasonable, customers complain...most of us would say we had a bad day.  Now let's pretend for a moment that you wake up and find yourself thinking thoughts that will lead you to a bad mood, but you catch yourself.  You recognize that nothing good can come from this pattern of thought and because there is not much momentum behind them, you find something more pleasant to think about.  You choose the pleasant thoughts and let the momentum build.  The truth is, people will respond to the "vibes" you are projecting, so the behavior of your family, co-workers, boss will be softened, but even if all of their behaviors are exactly the same as on your "bad day"...how will your mood effect the outcome?  How will your mood change how these behaviors impact your day?  I contend that your attitude is far more impactful on your experience than the events and behaviors you encounter.  I am responsible for my attitude... I am responsible for my response to everything that happens to me.. and I am responsible for the course my day will take...period.  Controlling your attitude comes down to one thing...controlling your thoughts!

Now, I know that some of you are thinking that controlling your thoughts is easier said than done, and I agree.  The truth is, it's all about momentum.  Awareness is the first step to controlling your thoughts because our mind is going all the time...those thoughts you are thinking can build momentum before you even realize you are thinking them.  The key to awareness is how you feel.  Did you ever have the experience of suddenly feeling a sense of foreboding or fear or sadness and before you knew it you were filled with worry or melancholy?  Our mind has a built in warning system that our thoughts have wandered into dangerous territory and those feelings are the alarm.  Now, you won't be able to control every minute of every day, but how much more enjoyable will your life be if you learn to control even a portion of your thoughts?  Start each day, before you even get out of bed, thinking thoughts that make you feel good.  You won't be able to control the people and events that you encounter, but you will be in a better place to receive them!  

There is one other thing I would like to say.  Often, momentum has taken over before we realize it and we are stuck in a snowballing pattern of thought that we just can't get out of...what to do?  It is nearly impossible to change our thought pattern in these situations.  I have found that for me, the only thing I can do is to totally change direction.  I abandon the topic of my thoughts by replacing it...laughter works for me.  I have a smart phone and I have several apps that I use to immediately stop my snowballing thoughts. I like DamnYouAutocorrect  and The Ellen Show apps.  I call this Momentum Management. Some times take longer than others, but these apps will eventually make me laugh out loud.  Once I am back on neutral ground and the momentum of my negative thinking has been interrupted, I can take back control.  Laughter works for me, but you need to find what works for you. Take responsibility for controlling your thoughts and therefore your attitude and therefore your life...take responsibility and you take back your power!

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